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Executives at Saturday Night Live have released a statement to the thousands of American bloggers that have emailed NBC with jokes, bits, vids, and gags they feel SNL should do about Republican Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin.
In a press release that went out earlier in the week, SNL said:
"Like most of the country, we were initially surprised with John McCain's pick for VP and our first thought was 'Yes, Gov. Sarah Palin does look like Tina Fey and, yes, Cindy McCain does look like Amy Poehler and, omigod yes, how great it would be to have them both on the season premiere with maybe Darrell Hammond as John McCain and Kristen Wiig as Campbell Brown and Kenan Thompson as Bill Cosby...again.' We have thought of all the same jokes and have all the sketches we need for Gov. Palin; please stop emailing us."
The press release then turned to the season premiere, "We are excited about this season's premiere and host, gold medalist Michael Phelps, although at first we were a bit worried about how funny a swimmer could be for an hour and a half. I mean, do you lead with the obligatory 'he's part dolphin' sketch or end on it? And the 10,000-calorie diet digital short can only be played once. 'Showtime at the Apollo' may come on a little earlier than usual but, hey, that's live TV for you."
The SNL press release concluded by saying: "And by the way, they are called 'sketches' not 'li'l skits.'"
There was an eerie calm in the streets of Saint Paul, Minnesota on Day Two of the 2008 Republican National Convention after Day One saw rioting "anarchists" quelled with tear gas and pepper spray from police. Greta Mayhew, a lifelong Democrat from Edina, said, "It's a weird vibe in the air today. Like walking into a silent classroom after the teacher just yelled."
And yell that teacher did; fifty-six rioters were arrested after the day saw a peaceful 5,000 protest in organized marches and sit-ins. Arnold Sawyer, a college student from California, said, "We were at the DNC last week and it was more fun, man. This place feels like walking into a classroom after the teacher just yelled or something."
The group calling themselves "anarchists" acted apart from the peaceful masses of assembled protesters. "Only takes a few to ruin the vibe," said Glenn Taylor of Minneapolis. "If I had to describe today's mood, I'd say it feels like walking into a classroom after the teacher just quelled fifty six anarchists with tear gas and pepper spray."
Denver, CO--Randy Awnings, a six-year-old Honor Student at a local elementary school was asked for his general impression of the DNC. After a minute to think, Mr. Awnings replied that he felt the DNC proceedings were, "I dunno, kinda boring." However, when discussion turned to the riot police that stood by with their hockey pads, Kevlar armor and heavy utility belts of restraining cords, batons, gas guns, and side arms, the third grader's eyes lit up and he said, "that was sweetest thing ever and awesome!"
On Tuesday, DNC Protestors gathered on the lawn of Denver's Civic Center Park across the way from the State Capitol steps under the watch of mounted riot police. At the time, Awnings believed the mounted riot police--the horses themselves fitted with thick plastic visors and faceguards--were "the coolest thing ever." But that was until three black SUVs rolled by with dozens of armored police riding the running boards and dressed to the nines in their finest riot gear.
Randy's grandmother--Gram Awnings--was quoted as saying that she worried her grandson's interest in "such things" may foster a propensity in adolescence toward those gratuitously violent R rated movies she refers to as "Knock 'em out, shoot 'ems." In rebuttal, Randy Awnings said to his grandmother, "Get back, Ma'am. Stay on the sidewalk."
Los Angeles, CA--It was announced Tuesday that the Independent National Convention has chosen a location...maybe...they think...almost positive.
An INC subcommittee is scheduled for this Saturday at The Dave's house on Figueroa if The Dave would call Chad back. The Dave--a junior INC delegate and senior manager at a popular video store--was quoted as saying, "We could also just meet up at a bar or Angela's because it's right there, but we don't have to decide yet, y'know?"
Angela, an INC delegate and recent Comm Arts grad, said in a text message to Chad, "No worries about the partay, Dudes. Whatever happens is what was meant to happen."
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